ArcaMax

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Men often do not have a tuxedo to throw on for a wedding. If they do, it is likely embarrassingly out of date. They often need to rent one for $200 to $400 -- if one is even available in their size, and it still might need alterations.

That is a lot for a guest! I chose to purchase an economical black suit to wear as a ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A friend is wearing me out. She and I belong to the same church and social circles, and are close to the same age. When she couldn't drive herself to church and other events due to health problems, I took her with me.

I soon found out that she seldom has a positive word to say about anyone or anything. She starts complaining ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Some months ago, you asked your readers for a way of addressing strangers whose gender is not obvious, but I have not seen the answer. We need it, so as to keep from insulting unknown people when we need to get their attention and don't want to say "Hey, you."

Didn't anyone have any ideas? Did you give up?

GENTLE READER: No;...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When I am sick, I need to rest and conserve my energy. I don't want visitors, as then I feel I have to host, perform and even offer food and drink when all I want to do is sleep.

I don't look presentable, and I shouldn't feel obligated to shave and shower to receive guests. I don't want them to see me in pajamas, unshaven, ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I'm 62 and have been divorced for 26 years. I've been dating the love of my life for 15 years -- we are obviously not in a hurry to tie the knot, though I did give her a beautiful engagement ring last summer.

My problem is my past history. A couple of times, in conversations with other people while my fiancee is present, I ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Our family is fortunate to have a beach house. The last couple years, we have allowed our boys, ages 15 and 13, to invite friends for a week to 10 days.

The first year, we didn't expect or ask for money to cover any of the friends' expenses. In one case, the family sent the child with no spending money whatsoever. We covered ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband met a very nice, like-minded neighbor during a walk, and we invited him and his wife over for dinner. Almost from the very beginning of the evening, his wife was very critical and rude and insisted on commenting on our home.

She claimed we had too much clutter, too many gallery walls, that our home was a mess, and ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I went to the symphony, which I've done for many years now. I know that proper symphony etiquette is to refrain from clapping between movements. However, it seems to me that many symphony attendees are not aware of this rule. This has given rise to a rather awkward situation: About half the audience knows the rule and does not...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: At times, a grocery checkout line will be very long, with only one cashier available. Someone with a full cart, three or four customers ahead of me, will offer a customer approaching the long line with only a couple of items permission to go ahead of them. They thereby award the same permission on behalf of all customers ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My son and daughter-in-law are expecting their first child. I broke the happy news to my best friend by telling her she would soon receive an invitation from them to their baby shower.

Instead of being excited and congratulatory, she huffed and said that expectant mothers were not supposed to throw themselves a shower. She ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We received a wedding invitation for a wedding from my husband's nephew and bride-to-be. The attire for the occasion is described as: "black tie optional. Elegant, coastal chic. We ask that men wear jackets."

It is clear what my husband should wear, but do you have a suggestion for me to fulfill "elegant, coastal chic"? The ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I enjoy going out with my women friends for lunch (just two of us). It is wonderful to get away from my house and my husband.

But recently, two of my friends have suggested that their husbands, and mine, join us. I hate this idea because I don't care to be around the husbands, and it would severely limit our conversation (I'...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: As women, it is not our job to salvage a man's ego when he cannot take "no" for an answer. Honestly, we need to make this point, and loudly: NO MEANS NO. If someone asks you on a date, it is perfectly OK to say, "That's very nice of you, but no, thank you."

It is then up to the other person to accept that answer -- not to ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a tiny house, so I enjoy hosting dinner parties al fresco in my backyard. I recently invited guests to dine when the weather was lovely, 75 degrees with a soft breeze.

During the first course, a bumblebee flew over the table and then moved on. One of my guests announced, "There are bees out here," picked up her plate, ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am confused on the proper time to arrive at an event or social function, whether in private homes or public venues.

When attending an event like a concert, play, church service or something else in a public space, I understand the announced time is when the event starts, and that you should arrive early enough to be in your...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: For years, I have entertained and loved every moment of it. But lately, when having people over, they just spend time talking about restaurants they have been to and what a wonderful experience it was.

I am a good cook, school-trained, and take pride in what I serve. I am fed up with nobody making comments about what I have ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I volunteer at a center that provides free tax prep for seniors. I am the greeter, and am really tired of people's arrogant and rude behavior to me.

I have received rude and nasty remarks from way too many clients. And this year, I've been told, "Get on your feet, honey," and "This is women's work" when asking people to fill ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a very good friend who has decided to propose to his partner, and I am absolutely thrilled for the couple!

He is very well off, so price was not much of a consideration when it came to selecting the ring. However, he has never had much of an eye for jewelry, so he enlisted my help. I have years of experience working in...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have been dating a wonderful man for a couple of years. He has generously given me several gifts, but I have found most of them to be kitschy and I don't really want them in my house. I'm trying to minimalize my home environment, and I'm getting rid of things instead of adding more. I have displayed some of his gifts in my ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I do a lot of recreational traveling, and often take local tours in the countries we visit. In these tours, there are often many comments using America as a punchline. How should I handle this? Just stand there and be humiliated?

GENTLE READER: One cannot open an American newspaper without reading that there is...Read more