MIAMI — Darren Waller made a promise to himself and the world in August of 2017.

He had just been suspended by the NFL and on his way to his parents’ home, but he needed something to take the edge off. That’s when he stopped the car and snorted a prescription pill.

Problem is “it wasn’t what I was looking for,” and his body shut down.

Waller was overdosing, and describes that experience with the imagery of what we see when someone pulls the television plug out the socket.

Instant darkness!

He had been in the NFL’s drug program for a while, but still didn’t stop him from abusing alcohol, marijuana, painkillers, anything to numb him from his struggles in life, and on the field.

When he eventually woke up in a cold sweat on that August evening eight years ago Waller realized that if he didn’t tackle his addiction problems, and the anxiety that caused them, he might not wake up the next time.

That was the moment Waller’s life — and how he handles the adversity that comes with it — changed.

“I would encourage any person who has ever gone through life trauma to deep dive Darren Waller, because he inspires football players,” said Dolphins coach Mike McDaniel, who himself is a recovering alcoholic. ”What he’s done with his life, and [the] adversity he has used to grow is inspiring to all, and shouldn’t be overlooked.”

Upon his return from his suspension the Oakland Raiders saw Waller training before a game and claimed him off the Baltimore Ravens’ practice squad.

Frank Smith, the Dolphins’ offensive coordinator, was his position coach at the time.

Their very first meeting together wasn’t about football. Smith needed to know exactly what he had to do to help Waller on his sobriety journey.

That talk left an imprint because Smith cared more about Waller the man than the player.

Smith would help Waller become a Pro Bowler, a flex tight end who keeps opposing defensive coordinators up at night because of his speed and ability to high point passes.

“He’s a baller. The ball finds him every time in the end zone,” quarterback Tua Tagovailoa said, evaluating the Dolphins’ 33-year-old playmaking tight end. “He’s just so much bigger it allows for me to see him a lot earlier in my peripheral [vision][, whereas I got to kind of look at [other targets] and confirm areas for them.”

Even though Waller was back in the NFL, on-the-field success didn’t quiet Waller’s troublesome inner voice.

In the middle of his first season with the New York Giants, who traded for what was then a seven-year veteran and gave him a $51 million extension, Waller realized he needed to walk away from the game again, and the $20 million his contract guaranteed.

“Life was taking its toll on me at the time. I was frustrated with the way I was being used. I wasn’t being challenged. I wasn’t happy,” Waller said of that 2023 season.

He finished that season, but deep down he knew he wasn’t going back to the Giants. And a trade somewhere else wasn’t going to cut it, either.

It didn’t help that Waller’s storybook romance with WNBA superstar Kelsey Plum’s was falling apart at that time. They would eventually divorce in 2024.

Waller’s anxiety became so overwhelming he abruptly retired from the NFL days before training camp.

For an entire year Waller worked on himself, sought therapy and regularly attended recovery meetings. When the Dolphins traded tight end Jonnu Smith to the Pittsburgh Steelers, Waller informed the Dolphins he’d like to join their team, reuniting with Frank Smith, and Miami and the Giants worked out a trade for a 2026 sixth-round pick to make it happen.

Waller said the one thing last year taught him is that whenever he stops putting focus on his sobriety he feels the effects.

“Sometimes I get busy and have a lot of things going on, but I can’t afford to push some of those things aside,” Waller said. “My sobriety helps me on all levels. It allows me to give my best in this locker room, and on the field.”

That is why after Monday evening practices he can be found at a downtown Fort Lauderdale recovery meeting,

He recently became a sponsor to a young man who is in the early stages of battling his addiction.

On Tuesdays Waller attends a Zoom meeting with current and former NFL players who are struggling with addiction. He has been a regular of that group for eight years, as NFL players gather to help one another fight their disease.

Plenty on that call look up to him because of how far he has come, and Waller doesn’t shy away from sharing his story, his journey.

He’s setting an example he hopes people with similar struggles will follow.

“From the lens of facing adversity, whether it’s failure or just running into problems, making mistakes, shooting yourself in the foot, there’s an ability to bounce back and be resilient,” Waller said. “If you take time to step away and take care of yourself, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re behind.

“There’s a plan and path for you to still carve out a role, carve out a path for yourself,” Waller continued. “Even though it may seem like when you step away, you’re so far removed from what you may have been doing before. You can step back into a space and still ..."

Waller then took a pause, possibly thinking about his life’s pause.

“lt may feel like people are ahead of you, or you got a lot of catching up to do,” he said. “If you just stay centered, know that your hard work will pay off one day.”

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